


Be Here

by winglesswarrior



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Past Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, dad liam, nanny louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8094934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winglesswarrior/pseuds/winglesswarrior
Summary: Liam frowned, not sure what to make of the man in front of him. “You’re a nanny?” The guy in a beanie and ripped jeans shrugged. “Can be.” Liam narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?” There was a shout from behind him, something crashing, and the guy in his doorway smirked. He actually smirked. As if he found Liam’s torture amusing. “It means, I need a job or I get thrown out of my flat and you need someone. We’re at an impasse.” “A what?” “You’re out of options.” ------Liam's in dire need of a nanny for his twins, who are terrors. Niall might have an pretty unconventional option.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [1D_Hiatus_Prompt_Meme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/1D_Hiatus_Prompt_Meme) collection. 



> I loved this prompt! i think i stuck pretty close to it, tweaked a few things here and there. 
> 
> Much love to my beta, driftingdolll, because she's an angel and puts up with me. 
> 
> Obviously, this is a work of fiction and fictional representation of the people mentioned.

The morning meeting had already started without him, but Liam slipped in the back and into his seat. No one said anything, but he felt more than one set of eyes on him. They doubted him from time to time, the young wannabe popstar turned producer. But they couldn’t wipe away the fact that he sold his company to a larger label for five times what he’d paid to start it up and the resulting success. Nor could they be upset that he’d gotten the gig as head of production services, working with the executive team when they needed him, but mostly catering to the best artists the label had to offer. He was an asset. 

Punctual though, he wasn’t. He used to be. He remembered those days fondly. But those were the days when his then-wife, an all around poor decision, took care of the twins during the day. Only, marrying your sixth form sweetheart who you accidentally got pregnant somewhere around when the XFactor finalist tour took off, didn’t usually work out in the long run. And six months ago when she finally left him, his life had turned upside down. 

Turned out, his children were terrors. He hadn’t known because honestly, in the past four years, he’d seen them mostly at night when they were asleep, or in the morning before their energy levels were up. They seemed like angels then. Liam had been so, so wrong. 

He flipped open his folder with his notes for the meeting, fighting back a groan. Someone, likely Mari, had used his notes and expense handouts as her latest canvas for artwork and what had been budget numbers and studio times, was now a mix of pink and green crayon. He couldn’t even see around the scribbles. Five hundred coloring books and she prefered to color on his things. His fists clenched, but he couldn’t stew for long. They’d worked their way around the table and now eyes were on him and he was going to have to wing it. 

Needless to say, the meeting didn’t go well. 

When Liam made his way back to his office, his assistant wouldn’t even look at him. The guy was young, clearly interested in more than working at label as an assistant, but he got the work done. One thing that was not in his job description, as he reminded Liam regularly, was baby sitting. Only, once again Liam had dropped the task on him. 

“I locked them in there,” he told Liam, nodding back towards Liam’s door. “Niall went in fifteen minutes ago. I’m imagining everything is broken. I took out all the valuables.” He pointed to a box next to his desk. “I tried two other services, they both said no.” He gave Liam a dark look, then turned back to his computer, typing at something like it was the most important thing in the world. 

Liam sighed and let himself into his office. As expected, it was a mess. The neat bag of toys and distractions he’d brought the children had been emptied and someone had written on the walls in crayon. Or at least he hoped it was crayon. Liam wanted to scold someone, but his children were nowhere in sight. 

“You appear to have gremlins at work,” Niall said from Liam’s desk, his feet propped up on it. Liam heard the giggles from somewhere under it, which at least explained where the twins had gone off to. 

“Don’t call my children that,” Liam said, dropping his folder on his desk and slumping into one of the chairs across from it. 

“Well, they are.” More giggles. At least someone was having fun. “Where’s the nanny? Sick?” 

“Quit,” Liam sighed. “Fourth one this month.” And tenth overall. “I called the agency and they refused to send me another.” 

“Yeah, Tommy out there was saying that the other agencies caught wind too and won’t send you one either.” 

Liam didn’t fight the groan this time, sinking further into the chair. “Do you want to nanny them? They seem to like you.” 

Niall shook his head. “Thanks, but no.” That made sense. Niall loved doing A&R for the label, and was scarily good at it. For a moment though, Liam’s friend looked thoughtful, before breaking out into a grin. “I might know someone.” 

“What you have some sort of line to black market nannies?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, sort of, yeah,” Niall said. That didn’t really help convey any faith in his choice. 

“What does ‘sort of’ mean? Do you have a CV? References?” 

Niall shook his head. “Nope, none of that. But I bet I can get you nanny by tomorrow morning.” 

That was far from ideal, but just as Liam was about to turn it down, Jeffrey shrieked and then something thudded under the desk and Mari started crying, loudly. Less than thirty seconds later, Thomas stuck his head into the office. “I cleared your calendar. You can take the kids home.” Then he shut the door. 

“You didn’t ask him to do that, did you?” Niall was too observant. 

“No.” Liam sighed over the noises, which had shifted to fake tears meant to garner attention. 

“What time tomorrow?” 

Liam groaned and got up, starting to gather the mess of things sprawled around his office, shoving them back into the bag they’d brought with them. “Seven.” 

Niall nodded, then ducked under the desk and pulled the fake crying twins by their shirts. Which they’d switched. Liam was going to get an ulcer. “Seven it is. Bright and early.” 

“It’s not soon enough.” 

\---------

The morning was like waking in a fresh version of hell. Somehow, despite how diligent Liam was with the alarm clock, the twins were still up first and had found a pair of scissors. When Liam went to get them out of bed for breakfast, they were sitting in the middle of the floor of their room, most of Mari’s curls spread around them, no longer attached to her head. Liam didn’t shout at his children, but he did then. Not that it had helped any. 

By the time someone knocked on the door, he had two sullen four year olds, both throwing more of their food than eating it, glaring at him and trying to smear nutella on his suit. He yanked the door open harder than he would have liked, staring at the sloppily dressed guy standing there for a second before shaking his head. “The photographer is in 3C,” he said already pushing the door shut. It had happened before, the ‘models’ (as Liam’s neighbor called his hook ups) wandering to the wrong flat door. Not usually this early in the morning, but whatever. 

The door didn’t close though. Whoever was on the other side had shoved his hand out to catch it, tilting his head to see in what was left of the crack. “You’re not Liam?” he asked, face scrunched up in that curious way, dark circles under his eyes. “Niall said 2C.” 

Liam’s grip on the door eased and, with the pressure from the other side, it opened. “Niall?” 

“The blond Irish bloke? He said you needed a nanny.” 

Liam frowned, not sure what to make of the man in front of him. “You’re a nanny?” 

The guy in a beanie and ripped jeans shrugged. “Can be.” 

Liam narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?” There was a shout from behind him, something crashing, and the guy in his doorway smirked. He actually smirked. As if he found Liam’s torture amusing. 

“It means, I need a job or I get thrown out of my flat and you need someone. We’re at an impasse.” 

“A what?” 

“You’re out of options.” 

Liam looked the guy over, taking in more than just the beanie, but the jean jacket with the furry collar that had clearly seen better days, the scuffed up Vans with what appeared to be no socks, and the look of mischievous triumph in his eyes. Liam sighed. “You sure you can handle this?” 

The guy stuck his hand out and smiled. “Bet you fifty quid. The name’s Louis.” 

“Louis,” Liam echoed as he shook his hand, pretty sure he was just doing it out of habit more than anything else. 

“Yup. Now, where are the monsters?” And then he just let himself into the flat like he owned it. 

Liam turned, watching Louis head towards the noise, unsure of what to do beyond follow after him. When he got there, the twins were staring at the man in their flat, gauging what he couldn’t take, like tiny little predators. Like the small dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. It was terrifying, but Louis didn’t seem to notice. Instead he ran his finger through smear of nutella that they’d left on the table and tasted it, then nicked Mari’s toast. “Breakfast seems like fun,” he said, sitting next to Jeffrey. The boy narrowed his eyes at him, but went back to chewing his food, staring at Louis. 

“I...uh,” Liam started then pointed towards the fridge. “Emergency numbers are here, mine too,” he said but Louis wasn’t looking at him. He was making faces at Jeffrey who was making them back with a full mouth. 

“I know,” Louis said without looking back. 

“Um, okay.” Liam looked around frowned again. “I should be home by nine? Their bedtime is at eight.” 

“Shouldn’t you be gone by now?” Louis asked, looking up Liam, one eyebrow arched. The twins looked up too, grinning as if that was the exact moment they were waiting for. Leave them alone with this imposter and see how he fared. It would be the best day of their month.

If he didn’t have a meeting he had to be at in half an hour, Liam would have felt bad for Louis. The guy had no idea. 

\--------

Liam found Niall in his office somewhere around lunch, back behind the desk like it was his and not Liam’s. He was on the phone, holding up a finger for Liam to be quiet like it wasn’t Liam’s space, which just made Liam roll his eyes and drop into the chair he’d been in the day before. He tugged at his tie, missing the days of his little production shop, where he didn’t have to impress anyone by being dressed up. He didn’t really have to here either, Niall was dressed more like he was headed to the golf course than the office, but Liam wanted to seem like he deseved the position. 

When Niall rung off the phone he smiled at Liam. “So, how’s Louis?” 

“Clearly unqualified,” Liam said, rubbing his forehead. “Where did you even find him? The street?” 

“Almost,” Niall said, sitting up on the chair and resting his hands on the desk. “Harry fronted him rent for this month otherwise he wouldn’t have any,” he explained. “He got booted from his last job in spectacular fashion.” The more Niall spoke, the more Liam’s stomach sank with worry. Who had he left his children alone with? “Here,” Niall added, nudging a pink box across the desk. “These are from Harry as a thank you.” 

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that I just left my children with the spectacularly unemployed friend of the baker you’re trying to get into bed with?” Liam said, finally piecing everything together. “The one that can’t keep up rent at his flat is supposed to keep my children from burning mine down?” 

Niall considered that, then nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. Upside, he’s got less options than you do. Could be worse.” 

“How could it be worse?” 

“He could totally not be your type.” 

“He isn’t my type! I don’t have a type!” 

“Of course you do,” Niall said, grinning. “I had wanted you two to meet socially, but this is perfect. You’ll get in with Louis and Louis’ll get me in with Harry. Wonderful.” Niall smacked the desk like it was the greatest idea ever and got up. 

“I’m not helping you. After today, I’ll find someone else. We’ve got the weekend to sort it out.” 

Niall shook his head. “Bet you don’t.” 

“Don’t you have your own office somewhere else?” 

“Not as nice as yours.” Niall waved as he left though, grinning at Liam. “You’re doing a lad a favor!” 

\------------

Despite being worried that his flat had been burned down during the day, Liam still got caught up late at work, finishing off everything he couldn’t do the day before when he’d left early, as well as some extra things that he would normally get to over the weekend. It was well past dark when he finally got back to his flat, letting himself in and stopping dead at the utter mayhem inside. Toys were strewn everywhere, all through the living room and hallways. When Liam peeked into the kitchen there was a small stack of dishes in the sink, a used cookie sheet still on the counter. 

The living room had what appeared to be a house concocted out of blankets, including what looked like the duvet from his bed and every cushion from his couch. When Liam moved to look inside it, he wasn’t sure what to make of the scene. 

The twins were curled up, Mari’s hair looking less like she’d cut the curls off with kitchen scissors and more like it was on purpose, and Jeffrey in his favorite pajamas. Both kids looked clean, content and curled around one another in a way that was only ever comfortable with twins. 

Next to them, flat on his back with his mouth open, snoring softly, was Louis. The beanie was gone, and his brown hair fell soft against his forehead, his shirt had ridden up on one side, revealing a patch of tan skin that dipped into what could only be tiny underwear with how tight the jeans he had on were. He had a book on his chest, the kids’ favorite as of late, as if the bedtime story had done the trick on the nanny as well as the children. 

It wasn’t entirely a bad sight. Liam blamed Niall for putting the idea in his head, but Louis was fit. He was a little messier than Liam normally liked, but it was hard to ignore those cheekbones. Liam shook his head, bringing himself back to the task at hand, getting the nanny and the children into a proper bed. 

Liam reached forward to poke Louis as best he could without accidentally toppling the structure down with his movements. “Louis,” he said, softly at first, but the other man didn’t move. He poked harder, in a softer spot on his arm. “Louis!” he whisper-yelled this time. 

Louis woke with a start, almost taking down the fort but catching himself before it was too late. He blinked at Liam, then the kids, then back at Liam. “You owe me fifty quid,” Louis said before moving, getting up with ease and shimmying out towards Liam. He scooped up Mari first, untangling her from her brother, and handed the sleeping little girl off to Liam, then grabbed Jeffrey. Louis checked once to make sure both twins were secure then headed off down the hall, avoiding the toys with ease before setting Jeffrey into bed.

Liam trailed behind him, frowning the whole while, but repeating Louis’ actions with Mari. Both children rolled over and slipped back into the deep sleep Liam had found them in, and Louis turned on the nightlight before shooing Liam out of the room.

Once outside he held out a hand, which Liam could only imagine was payment for the bet, but Liam couldn’t bring himself to pay him. “You destroyed my flat.” 

Louis looked around and shrugged. “Not really. I mean, it’s still standing.” 

“It’s a mess!” 

“Did you hire childcare or a maid?” Louis asked, one eyebrow arched, but it looked ridiculous on someone who was half sleep rumpled. 

“I thought both!” 

Louis shook his head. “I don’t do maid service. Get one of those if you need it. I think you can afford it. If you want someone to keep your kids from setting things on fire, then you got it.” 

“What?!” 

“What!?!” Louis was mocking him, echoing him like some sort of loud mouth teenager. 

“Fine, maybe I don’t need either,” Liam threatened, even if it wasn’t true; he did need Louis. Because his children were in bed, they’d smelled like they had baths, they were asleep and content, and Louis had done that. And he wasn’t threatening to quit. 

“Fine, maybe I don’t need you either.” 

Or well, he hadn’t been threatening to quit. 

“Fine!” Liam knew he shouldn’t, he should beg Louis to stay, but he wasn’t going to stoop that low. Nope. Not when this guy thought he knew everything. Liam didn’t have much left, but he had some sense of pride.

“Fine!” Louis shouted back, then stormed away, grabbing his shoes and jacket on the way. Liam wanted to follow after him, but he couldn’t get himself to move and before he could do anything the door was slamming behind Louis. 

\------------

“What do you mean he quit?” Niall demanded as they got closer to the clearing in the park. Liam was of the opinion that it was too cold to be outside, but the twins enjoyed being bundled up and chasing after the tiny football they’d brought with them. Liam just enjoyed them getting some exercise and hoped it would make the Sunday quieter than his Saturday had been. 

“He quit. Or I fired him. Either way, it didn’t work.” Liam shook his head. “It’s fine, the agency sent me credentials for someone else. A super nanny they said. It’s going to be fine.” 

“It is not!” Niall insisted. “This ruins everything.” He grumbled into the coffee cup that matched the one he’d brought Liam as a bribe to get him and the kids out of the house. “I could have sworn it was going fine. I heard it went fine.” 

“From who?” 

“Harry. He said Louis texted him, said the kids weren’t nearly as bad as anyone thought and that it was fine.” 

“Yeah, because he’s as bad as having another child,” Liam pointed out. “The flat was a disaster. I still don’t know where half the blankets they took out came from.” 

“Your linen closet in the hall,” a voice behind them called. Liam whirled around to see Louis standing there, hands shoved into his denim jacket, standing next to a lanky guy with more curls than head. Liam frowned, then looked at Niall who at least had the decency to blush.

“Err, Liam, you know Louis, but this is Harry.” 

Harry, the curly one, waved, holding up a pink box like the one that had been on Liam’s desk. “I brought treats!” 

Just the word sent the children running back towards them, but their eyes got wide at the sight of Louis and treats. In an instant the twins were clamoring for his attention, pulling at this jacket then at Harry’s, torn between their new playmate and the box of sweets. 

Eventually Harry’s cookies won out, both with the twins and Niall, and Louis drifted towards Liam, eyes downcast. “Look about the other day...” 

“It’s fine,” Liam said before Louis could say anything more. “I’ve already found a replacement.” 

Louis looked surprised at that, then something else before all the emotion was wiped away from his face. Liam had never seen someone go so blank so quickly before. “Right, fine, well, I didn’t tell Harry. So you know. Don’t. Not sure I can deal with those droopy eyes full of pity. Plus, I think he likes your friend.” 

Liam nodded. “Sure, fine. That’s fine.” 

“Fine.” Louis said arms crossed over his chest. 

After a long, awkward moment, Liam cleared his throat. “Um, well, Niall likes him too.” It didn’t seem like much, but it was the best he had at the moment. 

“They’ll put it together eventually. I’ve always found it’s best to let Haz get there his own way.” Louis bit his lip for a moment, then smiled. “Works with kids too.” 

 

Liam made a face but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want advice. Not from Louis. He was still mad at Louis, no matter how excited his kids had been to see the him. Sure, his kids usually hated whatever nanny Liam brought in, but Louis was hardly a nanny, was he? He was just an overgrown playmate. No, Liam needed someone that was going to bring structure to his children’s lives, not chaos. He shoved his hands further into his coat pockets and made a point of not speaking to Louis again. 

\--------------------

The super nanny that showed up put the woman on television shows to shame. Liam had hoped for Mary Poppins, but seemed to get something closer to the grandmother in Downton Abbey. Ms. Habersham had her hair up in a tight gray bun and she didn’t smile, but after the first two days, the flat was pristine, the twins were clean, and a spare plate for dinner was waiting for Liam when he got home. It was like a dream come true, even if she was a bit scary. 

She even came with a list of expectations from Liam, which was a bit jarring, like he was doing things wrong, which he was a touch insulted by, but he went along with it. Anything to make life just a little bit easier. He made sure the snacks he had in the house were healthy, that all the child locks that needed to be there were, that he double checked everything left behind before he went to work in the morning. It was exhausting, but at last the children were behaving. 

And after a week, Ms. Habersham still hadn’t quit, which was miles ahead of anyone else. 

When he’d gotten home on Friday she was waiting, guiding him through the process of making her a cup of tea, then waited for him to sit with her at the kitchen table. 

“Now, Liam. How do you usually spend your weekends.” She sipped at her tea, watching him of the top of the mug and Liam wished he had nicer china to give her. She looked silly with the Iron Man mug in her proper hands. 

“Um. Well, we usually eat here, pancakes sometimes, watch Disney movies. I tend to do work somewhere in there, once they’re settled.” 

Before he could finish Ms. Habersham was shaking her head. “No. That’s unacceptable. All activities should be educational, snacks and meals should be healthy, and the children should not be allowed to be wild, just as they aren’t during the week.” 

Liam had always thought the spirit of his children was their best part, because it was so unlike himself, but he didn’t argue with the woman. She was the qualified one here. She’d seen results. He had to put his faith in her. He nodded and sipped at his tea, promising to do as instructed. 

Still, after a morning of educational activities that she’d provided the next day, even Liam was feeling bored out of his mind. He could only guess how bad the twins were feeling. Which meant, as they walked through the park, he let them stop and play on the playground, falling onto a bench to watch them, though he had to admit, he let his eyes drift shut more than once.

“Thought the new nanny was supposed to make it easier.” 

Liam didn’t have to look up to know that voice. He’d met the man three times and, for some reason, everything about him was just ingrained in Liam’s mind. He opened one eye, staring at Louis, who was leaning over the back of the bench, not looking at Liam. “She does.” 

“Then why are you so tired?” Louis asked, but didn’t stick around for an answer. He dropped a duffel bag on the bench next to Liam, then headed onto the playground, scooping up Mari who burst into instant giggles. 

“Oi! Liam!” Liam looked behind him, surprised to see Niall with Harry in tow. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

“Louis had a game,” Harry said, pointing behind him. “So we were there to cheer him on.” 

Niall shrugged. “Or just there to have a pint and jeer at the other team.” 

“It balances out,” Harry clarified, moving Louis’ bag so he could sit with Liam. 

“So you’re both...out,” Liam concluded, wondering if they were out together or just still pretending to notice how one felt about the other. 

Niall opened his mouth to answer, but didn’t get a chance to. 

“LIAM PAYNE.” 

Louis was shouting from the playset where Mari and Jeffrey were playing, hands on his hips. 

“What?!?” 

“You hired a woman who’s turned bathtime into a punishment!” 

“What is he going on about?” Niall asked softly. 

“I thought Louis was your nanny?” Harry added. 

Liam waved them both off, getting up from the bench as Louis strode towards him. “She’s qualified!” 

 

“In what? Torture?” Louis shook his head. “Bath time is for fun, just like dinner and clean up and bed time. Jeffrey told me you hired a demonic Mary Poppins.” 

“He did not.” 

“Close enough,” Louis insisted. 

“Well, I hired an adult. Better than I was doing before.” 

“Are you?” Louis asked, pointing at the twins. “They don’t seem better.” 

“How! They’re well fed and clean and--” 

“And utterly miserable about it!” 

“They are not!” 

“I’m more upset that you can’t tell. If you were around more, you might notice.” Louis poked Liam in the chest, made a noise then stalked back to the playset, squatting to whisper something to Mari, who leaned in and hugged him. 

She didn’t do that with anyone. Hell, she barely did it with Liam. He rubbed the spot on his chest and shook his head to get rid of the feelings that were threatening to bubble up. He knew he worked hard, that he was gone a lot, but that was his life. That was what he did. His kids were fine. It was how he provided for them.

Liam strode back to the bench, frowning at the sight of a sad Harry looking up at him. “Was he truly that awful?” Harry asked, voice soft. 

“Who?” 

“Louis. He told me he had fun, that your kids were great,” Harry explained. “But you hired someone else. And he didn’t tell me.” 

“He didn’t want you to worry,” Liam said, but shook his head. “He’s just... I’m sorry, Harry.” He didn’t even know Harry, but he felt like he should apologize to him. 

Harry nodded, solemn as if he knew. “I’m sorry, too. I thought it would be great. He likes kids, he thought you were fit,” he said in a loping slow way that almost had Liam trailing off at the end, except something there caught his attention. 

“He said what?” 

Harry looked up, wide eyed and innocent. “Hmm?” 

“You said…” 

“No idea what you’re talking about, Liam,” Harry said, clearly evading and doing it with a broad grin. 

Mari laughed loudly and pulled Liam’s attention back towards the playground where she was hanging off Louis’ back while he ran around the play area, Jeffrey chasing after him. It looked like fun, though Liam wasn’t sure he would understand the game even if he tried. 

\------------

Liam felt bad about how dull their Saturday had been, so Liam splurged on breakfast the next day, making pancakes while the twins did their version of helping. He added fruit to the meal, which was a new thing for them, laughing as Mari stole strawberries and Jeffrey dipped apple slices into syrup. It was a nice family kind of morning, the kind he dreamt about. It was what he’d always wanted, he just hadn’t been able to get his hands on just yet. 

By the time Monday rolled around, Liam was feeling good about everything. His life was finally coming together. His morning meeting went swimmingly and even Thomas didn’t hate him. Really, it was a perfect day. He got out of work a little late, smiling when he let himself into the flat, but it faded instantly. 

Ms. Habersham was there, waiting for him. “Everything okay?” he asked, but he knew it wasn’t. He could see it in the woman’s eyes. 

“Let’s make a cup of tea,” she said, waving for Liam to head into the kitchen. 

That wasn’t good either. He busied himself with the tea, not sure why she couldn't do it herself, but he didn’t say it. Once the mugs were ready, he set one in front of her then sat down across from her. 

“I’m concerned about your dedication to this,” Ms. Habersham started and Liam’s shoulders sank. 

“I am. I’m very dedicated.” 

“But the children told me they were allowed to watch the movies I strictly said were no good for them, and they told me about running wild at the park,” she explained. “I can tolerate misbehavior from the children, but Mr. Payne, I needed your cooperation.”

“I thought it made sense to let them play,” Liam started but just a look from Ms. Habersham shut him up. 

“I refuse to do the work if you’re just going to undermine me.” She set her mug down then got up. “I’ve already contacted the agency. I’m sorry that you weren’t dedicated to this enough to see it through.” 

Liam sat up straighter, turning in his chair when what she was saying dawned on him. “No you…” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Payne.” He wanted to stop her, but there was something about the way she said it. She didn’t seem sorry and she didn’t seem like she would listen to any sort of argument. 

He got up, nodding. “I understand,” he murmured as he saw her out, shutting the door and banging his head against it softly. Another one gone. It was a reassuring that it wasn’t his children that had run her off, but he still felt bad that letting them play and be happy was what had done it. 

Letting out a sigh he headed back into the flat, ducking down the hall to the twins’ room, peeking in on them. They were sleeping, eyes screwed shut, both lost in dreams. He wanted to do more, so much more, but what could he do? He couldn’t quit his work, he couldn’t be home. He needed someone that could.

Liam gently shut the door then went back into the kitchen, grabbing a beer out of the fridge, just as something caught his eye. On the neatly typed list of emergency numbers, another had been added in crayon, with ‘Louis’ written next to it. Liam was starting to understand what the other man had meant about being at an impasse. 

He took a long swig of his beer, staring at the number before grabbing his phone and making a call he really didn’t want to make, but he was out of other options. 

\----------

When Louis showed up the next morning, he gave Liam a look then sidestepped him into the flat. Liam didn’t know what to say or even how to say it, especially considering he’d fumbled through the phone call the night before when he realized Louis wasn’t alone. Looking at the guy now, he was clearly coming off a night with someone, based on the love bite on his neck and the two sizes too big hoodie he had on. Liam wanted to complain, to say something, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. Up until twelve hours ago, Louis didn’t work for him, and it wasn’t like Louis had brought whoever was in his bed over with him this morning. Liam didn’t really have a right to weigh in on his personal life. 

Liam especially didn’t feel like he could judge when the twins got excited at the sight of Louis alone. How could Liam be upset with that? Louis had been right, Jeffrey and Mari hadn’t been happy, not like they were now, chattering at Louis in incomplete sentences, saying things that hardly made sense as he joined them at the breakfast table. 

Not needed, Liam finished getting ready for work, adding the finishing touches to his clothes and grabbing his bag before heading back to the kitchen. He kissed each of the twins on their head, then turned to leave, doing a double take when Louis was standing there, holding a travel mug. 

“Tea,” Louis said, offering the mug to Liam. “For the ride in.” 

“I…” Liam didn’t know what to say. He took the mug, staring at it. 

“You’re going to be late,” Louis added when Liam didn’t finish his sentence. When Liam looked up, Louis wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t glaring, and Liam could take that. 

“Thanks.” 

Louis shrugged, then moved past Liam to return to the kids. Liam hesitated, wanting to do more and, after a moment, he reached for his wallet. He set the fifty quid note on the counter, glancing up to see Louis watching him. Liam flashed his nanny a smile then headed for the door. 

\-----------

It was dark when Liam got home, later than he would have liked, but there’d been an issue with one of his artist’s recordings and Liam had wound up back in the producer seat, sleeves rolled up, headphones on, fixing it himself. He missed those days, of sitting in the recording studio, really mixing and making something. The life of meetings and planning didn’t quite feel the same. It was the hazard of success, but Liam missed the old days. 

When he let himself into the flat he was relieved that it wasn’t nearly as much of a disaster as the first time Louis had been in charge, but it still wasn’t neat like Liam had left. Louis’ shoes were by the door, his hoodie dropped somewhere in the hall, and Liam followed the trail until he found Louis sprawled on the couch, messing with his phone. Just the sight of him made Liam hesitate, leaning against the doorframe. 

There was no ignoring how handsome Louis was. The tattoos on his arms reminded Liam of the artists he worked with, of his own tattoos that he covered up most days. Louis seemed to have figured out what suited him best and took advantage of it, because no one should look that put together in trackies and a tank top, but apparently Louis did. 

“You work too late,” Louis said without looking up at from his phone, startling Liam out of his daze. 

“There’s always something to do,” Liam explained, but Louis rolled his eyes and tossed his phone at the couch. 

“Same could be said for here.” He nodded towards the coffee table that was currently covered in coloring books, paper, and crayons. “Those are for you,” he said. 

Liam moved closer, sitting next to Louis to look at the drawings that had “daddy” written on them in Louis’ handwriting, but the rest was the twins. Mari’s were more abstract, squiggles and circles, shapes that didn’t quite make sense in Liam’s head, but he’d never been abstract. Jeffrey’s was easier to understand, stick figures that he could guess were the three of them. 

Liam leaned back on the couch, feeling Louis’ warmth next to him, but his eyes were glued on the picture. Just a few months ago Jeffrey would have struggled with that, but now he seemed to have it under control. 

The couch cushion shifted and Liam heard Louis take a breath like he wanted to say something, but bit it back. When Liam finally looked at him, blue eyes were taking Liam in, but instead of saying whatever was on his mind, Louis just shook his head and got up from the couch. 

“They miss you.” Louis looked like he wished he hadn’t said, but he didn’t take it back. 

“They like you,” Liam blurted, sitting up more. “How?” 

Louis shrugged, fixing his shirt and grabbing his phone. “Because I listen. Because I want to know their stories. They’re kids. They just don’t want to be ignored.” He checked his phone again, but Liam suspected it was so Louis wouldn’t have to look at him. “Seven tomorrow?” 

Liam was staring, wanting more out of his rumpled nanny, but Louis’ expression was blank again when he looked up. “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Louis nodded and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Sounds good. See you then.” He waved once, then left the living room. Liam listened to him move around until he heard the door of the flat close behind him. 

\-----------

The last thing that Liam wanted to admit was that he was wrong, but having Louis around did make things easier. The kids were calmer and, while Liam spent most of his nights doing dishes and picking up toys, he found that it wasn’t that difficult of a task. And there was something soothing about the occasional cup of tea or the sleepy smile from Louis as he left in the evenings. 

Every other day there was another project waiting for Liam to see when he got home, either more drawings or paintings, sometimes just a bunch of things they’d found on a walk glued to paper. Liam had given Louis a key, which meant Louis just let himself into the flat most mornings and he’d almost become a staple in their lives. The twins looked forward to seeing him each morning and even Liam liked coming out of his room to find Louis already at the table with bowls of cereal and two sets of curly heads. 

It helped Liam get his work life together, which was great given that he somehow managed to wind up with three artists, all wrapping up recording and needing their final masters the same week. His days were spent in meetings and his evenings spent in the studio, plugging through demos, lining up parts, and helping put together the tracks. 

The third night he got home after eleven, he caught Louis’ arm before the nanny could sleepily trudge towards the door. 

“Hmm?” Louis asked, blinking a little, still half asleep from where Liam had found him snoring on the couch. 

“You…” Liam stumbled over his words, then gave Louis a little tug back. “You should stay.” 

Louis paused, arching an eyebrow and staring at Liam hard. “Stay?” He sounded more awake than he had moments before. 

“Um,” Liam stammered, then nodded. “The guest room,” he said, waving that way. Really, it was Liam’s office, but there was a couch that pulled out into a bed. “Since you have to be here so early.” 

Louis was still staring, but eventually the narrowed eyes eased. “I don’t have my things,” he said slowly.

“You can borrow mine,” Liam said. “It’s going to be another late night. Only makes sense, so you won’t be so tired.” 

There was a moment, but then Louis nodded, slipping out of his jacket and toeing out of his shoes. “See you in the morning then,” he murmured, patting Liam’s arm before heading down the hall without looking back. 

Liam felt like he’d missed something, like he’d wandered into something, an inside joke that no one told him about. He opened his mouth to call out to Louis, to ask about it, but thought better. Maybe he’d just ask Niall. 

\----------

For the first time in a long time, the morning reminded Liam of when he was married. And not the recent parts of his marriage where his ex-wife had been unhappy with being married, with being alone, and with the way their lives had panned out. No, this was like the early years, when Liam woke up to a home that felt alive and comfortable. 

He’d gotten up, showered, then went for the twins, but they weren’t in their room. He followed the sounds someone singing to the kitchen, stopping dead at the entrance. Louis was the one singing, his voice high and delicate in a way that Liam hadn’t heard before, and he had the twins clapping along. The shorter man was dressed in Liam’s clothes, a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt that fit Liam but was a touch oversized on Louis. Liam was struck with an overwhelming urge to join them, to slip in by Louis and wrap his arms around him, press kisses to the back of his neck until he giggled and swatted at Liam. It was such a vivid fantasy, a perfect little domestic moment, that Liam was sure he’d actually done it until Louis called out to him. 

“You got time for breakfast? There’s extra oatmeal.” 

Liam blinked, then shook away the dream, not sure where it had come from. He was lonely. That must be it. “Um, sure.” He moved into the kitchen, smiling in thanks at the bowl Louis slid towards him before going to sit with the twins, making sure they were eating more than they were smearing around. 

“Another late night right?” Louis asked, but didn’t look up from where he was sliding Mari’s bowl so it was under her spoon and whatever fell out of it didn’t wind up on the table. 

“Um, yeah. In the studio all day today.” 

“In a suit?” Louis ticked his eyes up, then back down to the twins. “I was thinking we’d drop by my place? Grab a few of my things…” 

Liam looked down at his dress shirt and shrugged. He didn’t have to be in a suit. He wasn’t usually when he’d been in the studio before and it might be more comfortable. Maybe he should change. He realized he hadn’t answered Louis when he looked up and the nanny was staring at him. “Oh, um, yeah, I mean if you want to stay again. And you need anything.” He just barely managed not to comment on how great Louis looked in his things. “I’m gonna change.” 

Liam was pretty sure he saw Louis smile as he walked past, but neither one of them said anything about it. 

\-------------

Much to Liam’s dismay, the fantasies didn’t go away. Louis stayed over another two nights, his things blending in with the twins, and Liam couldn’t stop thinking about him. The first night he could clearly see himself drawing Louis away from the guest room and back to his instead, filling in the the empty space in his bed. It left him so shaken, Liam spent the night clutching a pillow, wishing it was something else. Someone else. 

The next day it was happening at work, Liam drifting off to little daydreams of Louis not leaving when he got home, of them sitting together after the twins were in bed to watch something or just spend time together. Liam had barely done that with his ex, opting to spend time in his office instead of on the couch with her while she watched shows he wasn’t interested in. Liam was pretty sure though, he’d watch hours of cheesy dramas or football teams he didn’t care about if he got to spend the time with Louis. 

On the way home from work he’d find himself imaging that he was going home to the three of them sprawled across his bed, since they wouldn’t all fit anywhere else, just like he’d found them in the cushion fort, fast asleep after reading a story, or from waiting up for him. 

It was starting to mess with his brain. 

So much so that when Louis met him at the door Friday night with a beer for each of them, then led the way to the couch, Liam was certain he was hallucinating. It wasn’t really happening. It couldn’t be. But after blinking several times, the image was still there, Louis on his couch, still wearing Liam’s shorts, though back in his own hoodie, beer in hand. Liam shook his head, then hung his jacket up by the door. 

“Thought Niall was taking the piss when he said you were a proper popstar,” Louis said, looking at Liam as he sat on the couch. “At least until I woke up in the trophy room over there.” 

Liam shook his head, wishing he’d remembered what was hanging on the walls in his office. When he and his pregnant wife had bought the place, he’d wanted it to feel more like a home and to move on from the life he’d given up for his family. Everything from it had been piled up in the spare room, his office as his ex had called it, and Liam had done his best to try and forget it. But his father had done it for him, telling him he should be proud of the album he released but never properly promoted, especially since the singles had been successful. That he should be proud of being a finalist on X-Factor. “I wouldn’t say proper…” 

Louis laughed and took a swig of his beer. “I would. Anyone my sister has an album for and bragged that she was going to marry is a legit popstar.” He grinned at Liam, then fell back against the couch. “I already told her I was working for you to make her jealous.” 

“Did it?” 

“Course it did. At least until I told her you changed your hair. Turns out she liked that ridiculous Bieber thing you had going on.” 

Liam ran his fingers over his head, pushing at the shorter strands that were starting to curl at the end of a long day. “Yeah, well, got tired of keeping it up.” 

“This is better,” Louis promised with a weird sort of sincerity. It was enough to make Liam a little uncomfortable. 

“Don’t you...have somewhere better to be on a Friday?” Asking was shooting himself in the foot, taking away the moment that he’d been dreaming about, but for some reason really having it was too much. “Girlfriend...or a boyfriend to see?” 

Louis didn’t make a noise when he laughed, but Liam could see his chest rise and fall. “There’s not,” he said. “Boyfriend, would have been. He...uhh....” Louis made a face, then shook his head. “It was off and on, then he had better things to do. Things that weren’t staying with me.” Louis wasn’t looking at him, but Liam could see the way his features had gone tight. He waved a hand. “Plus, Haz’s out with Nialler.” 

“So I’m your last resort,” Liam concluded, teasing, surprised at how easily it came to him. 

“Well, yeah. Popstar and all. I mean, I could do worse,” Louis countered with a grin. 

“In that case,” Liam said, reaching past Louis to grab the remote. “Less football.” 

“That’s a travesty.” 

“Just get us another beer and I’ll pick out something on Netflix.” 

Louis jumped up and shook his head. “I’m not going to Netflix and chill with you, Liam Payne. Famous or not.” 

“I didn’t offer!”

Louis laughed as he headed into the kitchen. “You don’t have to. I can see it in your eyes.” 

Liam really, really hoped that wasn’t true.

\------------

“Daddy.” 

It was whispered, but right by his ear and came with something poking his face. Or maybe someone. Liam groaned a little, neck feeling like it was one giant knot. “Daddy.” A different voice this time, but the poking was there again. Liam opened one eye, looking at his daughter who was smiling back at him. 

“Lou sleeps,” she said, pointing down and Liam wasn’t at all sure what she meant. At least until he tried to move and realized someone was laying on him. 

They were still on the couch, the rest of their beers on the coffee table, but Liam had apparently fallen asleep in a corner of the couch and Louis had stretched out to use his thigh as a pillow. Even now Louis was draped across him, one arm over his head and over Liam’s legs, holding on to Liam as he slept. Jeffrey was there too, squatting so he could see Louis’ face, like him sleeping was the most interesting thing. 

Liam’s heart ached at the sight, the closeness, the warmth between them. He wasn’t even sure when or how it had happened, but he wanted it to happen again and again. “Hand Daddy the pillow,” he told Mari, pointing to the throw pillow on another couch. She diligently brought it to him and Liam slowly slipped himself out from under Louis, putting the pillow in his place. Louis made a noise in his sleep, but thankfully turned into the couch, cuddling the pillow. 

“Shhh,” he told the twins, pointing at Louis and they got it, nodding and holding their fingers in front of their mouths. “Let’s go make breakfast.” Liam ushered his children into the kitchen, surprised when they went to one of the cabinets, opening it up and getting out the plastic plates they were allowed to use and handle. Louis must have moved them from the shelf above their heads for that reason and, while Liam got out bacon and eggs, Jeffrey and Mari argued over which plates they were going to use. 

In the end it was decided that Jeffrey would use the Nemo plate, Mari the Avengers, with Thomas the Tank Engine and Lightning McQueen set aside for Liam and Louis. The smell of bacon was what likely roused Louis, who appeared in the kitchen just in time to snag some as it came out of the pan grinning at Liam. 

“Might have said yes last night if I knew you’d make breakfast after,” he teased, before taking another bite and grinning around it. 

Liam rolled his eyes and moved the plate out of reach. “I never asked.” 

Louis just winked before letting out a yawn with an over the top stretch. “I gotta run,” he said, moving quickly around Liam to grab another piece of bacon. 

“What about breakfast?” _And staying forever_. Liam didn’t want to lose the moment. Even if nothing happened the night before, he felt like something happened. Like he’d let something happen. 

“Can’t. Gotta game to get to.” Louis snuck a hand out to pinch Liam’s nipple, making him jump, before bouncing away from Liam and out of reach. He pressed a quick kiss on each of the twin’s heads. “I’ll see you later,” he told Liam, then shook his head, like he’d said something stupid. “Monday, later. You know,” he corrected and ducked out of the kitchen. 

“You could…” Liam called, and Louis reappeared, question on his features. 

“Could what?” 

Liam was sure it sounded hopeful, but he was also pretty sure that was in his head. Why would Louis sound hopeful? No, he was definitely imagining that. “Oh, um, nothing. Nothing. Good luck.” 

Louis made a face like he was trying to see through Liam, and for a moment Liam was sure the other man was going to figure him out, but then Louis broke into a smile and a nod. “Cheers. See you!” 

Liam looked over the twins, who were staring at him, and sighed. “I chickened out,” he told them, even though he was pretty sure they didn’t understand. 

“Chicken nuggets!” Mari shouted like it was the greatest idea ever, then Jeffrey joined in and everyone wound up having toast, bacon, and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for breakfast. 

\---------------

“I think I’m going to ask him to move in,” Liam said, watching as Niall almost dropped his cup of coffee and turned to stare at him. 

“Who?” 

“Louis. I’ve been talking about Louis for the past ten minutes.” 

“Have you?” Niall rolled his eyes up like he was thinking, then nodded. “Alright fair, you have. And no, you’re not.” 

“He says his flat is shit.” 

“It is shit. I’ve seen it. The heat barely works and I think he’s got a poster covering up an actual hole in the wall, but no, you’re not asking him to move in.” 

“He’s always at my flat anyway.”

“Because he’s your nanny. That’s his job. He’s where your children are.” 

“Exactly. Why not have him move in?” 

Niall sighed, like Liam was the one being exhausting here when Liam was pretty sure most of the issue was that Niall wasn’t paying attention. “Because it sounds like you want him to move in for yourself.” 

“Because he’s my nanny…” Liam said, pretty sure that was selfish reasons, but not sure why that was bad. It was Louis’ job after all. 

“No, because you want him to be your house-husband. Which by the way, you have no idea if that’s a thing he even wants.” 

Liam sputtered and shook his head. “That’s not at all what I want.” 

“Liar.” Niall set his mug down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on Liam’s desk. At least he was on the right side of it, but Liam still wasn’t sure Niall actually worked in his own office, ever. “I know how you feel. I just have one important question. What do you know about Lou?” 

Liam gave Niall a look and sat up straighter. “I know he’s great with kids, especially mine. I know they love him. I know he likes footie and plays on a team and….and he’s best friends with Harry...and had a wanker of an ex boyfriend.” 

“Zayn,” Niall filled in. “Total wanker. What’d he do in school? Did he go to uni? What does he want to be other than Liam’s kept boy toy?” 

“He’s not my boy toy.” Liam wanted to be sure on that, but Niall waved him off like he didn’t believe him. Which was probably right, Liam wouldn’t mind adding that aspect to things. He could see himself easily slipping into taking his relationship with Louis to the next level, but that wasn’t the point. He wracked his brain for answers to Niall’s questions, but kept coming up blank. “He didn’t...he hasn’t said.” 

Niall nodded as Liam answered, looking like he’d been waiting on Liam to catch up all along. 

“I don’t know him,” Liam concluded. 

“You think he’s fit, which is fine, he is, everyone knows that, but he’s more than that, right? Plus, your kids know him. They love him, but they’re four. They don’t need the same things you do before you decide you’re in love.” 

“I never said--” 

“It’s literally written all over your face, Li. You fall hard and fast and, this time, you’ve fallen off the deep end.” Niall reached for his coffee cup again and leaned back in his chair. “Get to know him. Then, if you still like him, do whatever irrational thing you’re thinking about doing.” 

“It wasn’t irrational.” 

“Of course it was,” Niall said, looking at his phone and getting up. “I’ve got to make a tee time. Everything you do is irrational. You love giant, unnecessary gestures.” 

“Romantic gestures,” Liam corrected. “Do you actually work?” 

“Constantly,” Niall said. “Meeting with that little up and coming popstar’s dad to tell him how great you are so she’ll sign. Man’s got a wicked handicap.” 

“I don’t think your job is real…” 

Niall shook his head. “Definitely not. That’s why I love it. Go home before six, bring dinner with you, and ask him about himself. See what happens,” he said as he left Liam’s office. 

\----------

Liam did as Niall instructed, leaving at a reasonable time and picking up dinner on the way, which earned him a curious look from Louis. It didn’t stop him from sitting down at the table with them and, Liam had to admit, he was relieved he hadn’t had to ask Louis to stay for dinner. He’d been going over what to say in his head, how to start the conversation, but he kept coming up blank. In the end, he opted to just start it and hope it wasn’t too awkward. 

“So, Louis. Where’d you work before here?” he asked, thinking that was a fair start. 

Louis paused, fork with lo mein hanging off of it halfway to his mouth as he looked at Liam. He shook his head, then looked away, tapping Jeffrey’s plate so the boy would eat. “You should talk to your daddy about nosey questions,” he told Jeffrey before making a face at the boy.

“It’s not nosey,” Liam protested. “I don’t know anything about you.” 

Louis turned, chin propped on his fist. “Does it matter?” 

“Yes,” Liam insisted, hoping that was enough. If Louis wouldn’t tell him, then Liam was at a loss for what to do next. 

Louis rolled his eyes, took another bite of his food, and waited so long to answer that Liam thought he was going to throw up what little he’d managed to eat. “I was working at a restaurant, busing tables.” He pushed his food around with his fork. “I hate the idea of being treated like nothing, and I’d had enough of it.” 

That was it? Just a restaurant? “Is that what you wanted to do?” he asked.

Louis gave Liam a dirty look, then shook his head. “No, Liam, I do not want to bus tables for the rest of my life, but there aren’t a lot of options for drama degrees.” 

“Drama?” That was something, something huge. 

Louis shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, I know it was stupid, but I wanted to do something I cared about.” 

“How’d you get so good with kids?” Liam had expected Louis to have studied something in education, especially for younger kids, but he’d been way off. 

“I’m the oldest of seven,” Louis said with a laugh. “And two sets of twins.” He reached out and tugged at one of Mari’s curls. “So this is easy.” He shrugged. “Why’d you knock up your girlfriend and give up the popstar life?” 

Liam should have assumed that if he was going to ask questions, Louis might ask them back. He never would have guessed that question though. It was probably the most interesting thing about him, but most people didn’t ask about it. “I wouldn’t put it like that.” 

“How would you put it? You quit singing, you didn’t have to.” 

That wasn’t really news to Liam either. He’d heard it before. Sure, there’d been concerns that he wouldn’t have the same appeal to the younger crowd, but there were plenty of singers and stars out there with kids. He still had the talent, but he’d had more important things to put his mind on. “I wanted to be here,” he said. “For them, for her. I always wanted this, a family. I just got it sooner than I thought.” 

Louis tapped his fork on his plate, looking over at Liam. “Then why aren’t you here?” 

Liam frowned. “What?” 

There was a glance towards the twins who were in their own little world, speaking that language that only they understood, then Louis spoke again. “You’re not here. You’re always working. If this was what you wanted, why aren’t you enjoying it?” 

 

Liam blinked, then scrunched his nose up a little in confusion. “I have to work…” 

“But not that hard. Even Niall says that. He says you work harder than anyone else and you’re not even spending it in the studio.” 

“I’m…” Liam trailed off, not sure how to answer that. 

“You’re lonely,” Louis finished for him, shrugging his shoulders. “Which is okay, but it’s not a reason to hide at the office.” He set his fork down, ducking his head to hide his eyes. “I should go,” he added, getting up from the table, but Liam caught his wrist before he could leave. 

“Don’t. Don’t go. You’re right. I am.” And he wanted Louis. He was craving Louis. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and beg him to stay forever, but Niall’s words were echoing in the back of his mind. He didn’t know what Louis wanted, or if Louis even wanted him. “I was asking about you. You know everything about me and I don’t know anything about you.” 

Louis hadn’t sat back down yet, but he’d stopped trying to leave. “I’m not that interesting.” 

“I think you are. The kids think you are.” 

Liam knew he was out on a limb, that he was risking his most successful form of childcare by pushing, but he couldn’t stop. Louis freed his wrist from Liam’s hand with his free one, but his fingers were gentle when they did it. Eventually Louis sat back down, looking at Liam carefully. “What do you want to know?” 

“Everything,” Liam insisted, which was vague. “What do you want to to? I mean, you’re great at this,” he said waving at the twins. “But there’s got to be something else.” 

Louis focused back on the children, wiping messy faces ,and Liam could tell it was so he didn’t have to look at Liam. “I want to perform. I mean, act, sing. I went out for X-Factor your year, you know,” he said, looking over his shoulder at Liam. “Made it to bootcamp, but got cut there. Which made sense. I mean, you were there.” 

“But your voice is perfect,” Liam blurted before he meant to. Thankfully Louis just laughed. 

“Hardly. Yours is. You should keep singing. They like it, you know. We listen to your music when you’re not here. You like daddy’s songs, right?” Both twins lit up, cheering and babbling all at once. Louis looked at him like that proved everything. “See? Come home more. We miss you.” When Louis got up again, Liam didn’t stop him. He’d said ‘we’. Liam heard that, hadn’t he? What did that mean? Did that mean Louis missed him, too? 

“If you want to start bathtime, I can put the dishes in the sink before I go,” Louis added, his plate already in his hand. 

“Um, sure.” Liam got up, surprised when Louis gave him a small smile, just for him.

“Good. Go on. Have fun.” Louis nudged Liam’s side with his elbow, watching as Liam gathered up both his kids and started them towards the bathroom. Liam glanced back once, just to check, but Louis had already ducked out of sight. Halfway through listening to a story about the rubber ducky that Mari was telling him, he heard the front door close. 

\-----------

“Why’d Zayn leave?” 

Louis wasn’t looking at him, but Liam could see the way his shoulders tightened at the mention of his ex. When Louis finally did turn, not until after Mari’s hair had been doused enough to rinse out the shampoo, his eyes were sharp. “Could ask you the same thing about your wife.” 

Liam shrugged and finished drying off Jeffrey’s hair, wrapping him up in the duck towel he liked so much. He was probably too big for it at this point, since it came down to his thighs instead of his ankles, but he still quacked like a duck in response, which would never stop being cute. “There’s not a lot to tell. She didn’t want to be a mom and wife at twenty-two. She wanted to be twenty-two.” He looked up at Louis and held out the princess towel for Mari. Liam had missed dinner, but he’d made it in time for the tail end of bath time, which meant he’d get to do stories and bedtime. Still, he wanted to talk to Louis before he left.

He’d been trying harder, asking questions before Louis went home in the evenings, but Louis always shot something back, usually a question Liam didn’t want to answer. At least this one, while uncomfortable, wasn’t hard. Liam knew why his divorce had happened. 

Louis was lost in Mari-world, tickling her bare belly to make her giggle before wrapping her up in her towel and pointing towards the bedroom where pjs were laid out on the beds. Both kids ran around a little, flapping towels like they were wings, but stayed in their room with Liam and Louis in the doorway. Louis’ arms were crossed over his chest and he wasn’t looking at Liam when he spoke. 

“When it started, we wanted the same things. The crazy life, the day to day adventure, the excitement. We were both struggling artists, determined to do what we loved, but you find out that you can’t just do what you love sometimes. That’s not how you get famous. But I was still putting in the work, no matter how angry it made me and he just...gave up. He wanted one thing and that didn’t include me. So he left.” Louis shrugged, and sighed. “Found himself a nice girl from what I see though. Seems to be happy enough.” 

Liam watched Louis, that sad set in his jaw, the way his blue eyes went stormy. “What about you?” 

Louis laughed, but it wasn’t a lighthearted noise. “Guys like me, we don’t get this,” he said, waving towards the kids. “We get to see it, up close, but not have it.” He called out to the kids to put their pajamas on which, shockingly enough, worked. “They’re really into the one about the giraffe,” he explained about the bedtime story before turning to leave. 

Liam caught his hand before he could go, drawing him back. “Stay. Just a little longer…” When Louis gave him that look again, the one where he was trying to figure Liam out, Liam covered with the best answer he could come up with. “I don’t do the voices right. They’ve already said it.” 

Louis stared long and hard before rolling his eyes. “Well, no surprise there.” Liam wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not, but he felt Louis give his hand the tiniest of squeezes before letting go and grabbing the book off the shelf, waving for Liam to follow. The four of them piled onto Mari’s bed, Louis and Mari at the top, book spread on his lap while she leaned against his chest. Liam and Jeffrey were further down, backs to the wall her bed was next to, Jeffrey leaning against Liam’s side while he listened. Louis did do the voices better, waving his hands in a way that made the kids giggle until they were drifting off to sleep. 

Once they were done and everyone was in the right bed, Liam walked Louis to the front door, hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing Louis and demanding he stay. “You could have it, you know,” he said as Louis wrapped himself up in a scarf, prepping for the cold weather outside. 

“Have what?” 

“All this, what you want. You could.” 

Louis slowed his movements, then looked up at Liam. There was something there, some thought ticking away in his brain, but Liam had a guess he wasn’t going to vocalize it. “You can’t know that.” 

“Why not?” 

Louis put his hands on his hips, tilting his head to the side. “You don’t know what you’re offering, Liam. You don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be the nanny you sleep with.” 

“No, that’s not…” Liam shook his head. “That’s not what I’m offering.” 

“Is it not? Are you going to come home? Are you going to let me get another job? Liam… We don’t want the same things. You’re fit, your kids are great, your flat is lovely. But I don’t want to be a nanny who’s hooking up with my boss. I want something more.” Louis turned to leave, but Liam jumped forward, trying to get in his line of sight. 

“What if I could say yes to all of that?” 

“Liam, love, you can’t. You don’t know me. You just like me and you like that your kids like me. I get it. But you can’t ask a hundred questions, then ask me to move in.” When Louis smiled it was sad, and he patted Liam’s arm, moving past him. 

“What can I do then? To get to know you?” Liam called after him, letting out a breath of relief when he slowed his steps and hesitated at the door. 

“Maybe we should just try and be friends, yeah?” 

Friends. That wasn’t much, but it wasn’t nothing either. “I could do friends.” 

Louis nodded, looking like he was thinking while he did it. “Friends then. We’ll work on that. See you tomorrow.” He gave Liam one last look before letting himself out. 

\----------

Liam wasn’t sure if he was doing friends right. Louis didn’t seem interested in opening up before the weekend and by Saturday Liam decided it was time to call in reinforcements. Thankfully it wasn’t hard to get Niall to join him to the bakery and even the kids went willingly, getting into their coats and mittens without protest and making the trek with him and Niall. 

The warmth and sweet smell of the bakery was overwhelming, but inviting. The bright case of pastries caught the twins’ eyes and they dashed there, pressed against the glass as Harry appeared from the back. He smiled brightly at Niall first, then the twins, then blinked at Liam. 

“Wasn’t expecting you,” Harry said, leaning on the counter. “Lou said he said enough to keep you away.” 

Niall looked back at Liam, who felt the flush rise in his cheeks and that it wasn’t from the warmth of the room. “I don’t want that. Not unless he really, really does.” 

Harry tapped his fingers on the counter before nodding. “We need coffee,” he said, then moved behind the counter. Niall nodded to the corner, a small table there, somewhere Niall seemed comfortable and familiar with. Liam followed, watching Harry chat with the twins, getting them each something and guiding them to a table nearby. Then Harry approached the table Niall and Liam were sat at, handing over cups of coffee for Liam and Niall before sitting. He was close to Niall, but not too close, Liam noted. He wondered what that meant, if only to get his mind off the idea of Louis trying to get rid of him. 

“He said he wanted to be friends,” Liam started when Harry didn’t speak right away. “He says I can’t give him what he wants, but he’s not telling me what it is. He’s just…”

“Making a lot of noise to distract you. That’s what he does.” Harry propped his chin in his hand, looking at Niall who didn’t say anything, just nodded for Harry to continue. Harry took a deep breath, then focused on Liam. “What did he tell you about Zayn?” 

Liam shrugged. “He said they didn’t want the same things. That in the beginning they did, but now they don’t.” 

Harry was nodding, long fingers pressing into the edges of his mouth. “That’s mostly true,” he said. “I mean, it is, but it’s not just that.” Liam was trying not to be upset with the way he was drawling through his words, taking too long to say any of them, or say anything, but his knee was starting to bounce under the table. “It’s just that, even though it ended a couple of months back, that we knew Zayn was gone, that they were done, it wasn’t as over as we thought.” 

Liam instantly thought back to the night he’d called Louis and he hadn’t seemed alone, the love bites on his neck the next morning. “They were still seeing each other.” 

“From time to time. After meeting you especially.” Harry tapped his fingers along his chin, “He’s going to kill me for saying it, but he... he did it because of you.” 

“Me?” Liam’s voice pitched up higher than he wanted it to. 

“Well, not directly. Mostly. It’s what you have. At least that was how he said it,” Harry explained. 

“They didn’t want the same things.” It was starting to fall into place in Liam’s head, the way Louis seemed to want things that conflicted with one another. 

“It’s more than that. Zayn...said he did. He said it was what he wanted. When things didn’t turn out the way they expected, when the fame didn’t come when Louis was working more shifts to keep up their rent than going out for auditions, and Zayn was spending more time high trying to paint than actually selling work….” Harry sighed, his fingers twisting one of his rings before Niall’s hand caught them, clasping them in his. Liam watched Harry give Niall the smallest of smiles, like the blonde understood something that even Harry couldn’t properly voice. It made Liam wonder again just how close they were, if it was something more than just the back and forth that came with the start of a relationship. 

Niall’s touch seemed to give Harry the strength to keep going. “When it came to that, Louis suggested something else, a different life. And Zayn, Zayn wanted it. He wanted the normal life. Louis was looking into jobs, into moving out of the city, all of it. He had a ring, he’d looked into surrogates, a family…” 

“And Zayn changed his mind.” Liam could only imagine the pain Louis had felt, what it would have been like to give up something he wanted, to go so far down the path and have it all taken away.

Harry just nodded slowly. “You see? He met you and you…”

“I have what he wanted, but I kept quitting on it.” The career, the fame, his wife, his kids. Liam looked over at the twins, who’d finished their treats, but were lost in their own world like they did. “And he called Zayn up.” 

“And he got his heart broken all over again,” Harry concluded. 

“Fuck,” Liam swore softly, running his hands over his face, covering his mouth for a long moment while he thought about it. “What do I do?” 

“Is it bothering his work?” 

Liam shook his head. “Not at all, he’s great. They love him,” he told Harry. “I…” He couldn’t put it into words. He wanted to say it, to explain the warmth in his chest that ached when he saw Louis with his kids, the way his kids leaned into him, the way Louis made space for Liam, showed him the ropes in a way Liam’s ex-wife never had, but what was it? It felt like love, but Liam didn’t know enough about love put that word on it. And he felt, with everything Louis had been through, that he hadn’t earned the right to do it. 

Harry nodded though, back to his thinking face where he pushed at the corners of his mouth, like it was a lot to consider. “You want more.” Liam sighed and nodded, relieved that the gravity in Harry’s simple words carried what he was thinking. He didn’t think he had any reason to like the slightly odd baker other than because Niall did, but Liam was starting to understand at least why Niall did. 

Harry fidgeted again, but his fingers were tapping along Niall’s arm, looking at the blonde, questioning without saying the words. 

“He’s worth it,” Niall confirmed with a nod. “He’ll be better now that he knows.” Harry gnawed on his lower lip for a moment, watching Niall’s eyes before turning back to Liam’s. It took until that moment for Liam to realize Niall had been talking about him. 

“You show him. That it’s not just because he’s whatever you think he is, or that it presents a picture of domestic bliss. It has to be both. You have to want it and him. And you have to want a partner. And that you’ll stay.” 

“How can I prove that I’ll stay beyond saying it?” The other things, Liam could do those, but staying? How was he supposed to convince someone so flighty that he wasn’t going to do the same.

Harry shrugged. “That’s the hard part. I think you just...have to wait it out.” Liam was pretty sure that was easier said than done. Harry must have seen it in his eyes because he kept talking, almost rushed for him. “But he’ll figure it out.” Liam could only hope. 

A crash from the table the twins were at drew his attention away from Harry, not at all surprised to see his children standing next to an overturned chair and a broken plate on the floor between them. Liam sighed, but got up, moving towards both of them and snatching hands before they grabbed for the broken shards of ceramic. “I’ll pay for the plate,” he told Harry, who just waved him off. 

“I buy them all at charity shops and estate sales. There’s plenty more where that came from,” Harry told him as Liam picked up Mari. “Trust me, you should see the number of plates I’ve broken on my own.” He patted Liam’s arm, then tapped Mari’s nose to make her giggle. The four year old hid her face in Liam’s neck and, when he looked down at Jeffrey, he was hiding behind Liam’s leg. “He wanted to believe you,” Harry said slowly, petting Mari’s curls and smiling at Jeffrey. “He wouldn’t have told me about it if he didn’t.” 

That was the reassurance Liam needed. He brushed his fingers through Jeffrey’s hair, letting the press of his children against him seep through his clothes and skin in a way he rarely did. Louis made Liam want to be better. Now all he had to do was show Louis he was trying. He looked at Niall who’d shuffled up behind them. “Give me a minute,” Niall asked and Liam got that message loud and clear. 

 

“Sure. We’ll sort out mittens and hats while we wait.” The twins waved goodbye to Harry, offering shy thank yous after being prompted. Liam ushered them out to the sidewalk, kneeling to help with winter wear, but glancing back at his friend through the window. It was tender, the way Harry slouched down to Niall’s size, the gentle touch of fingers across a cheek. Despite not being able to hear them, Liam could tell something was whispered, then answered. Niall left without a kiss, even if the moment seemed to build to that, but Liam was still jealous. Had anyone ever looked at him that same kind of fondness? Not that he could remember. 

He let Mari climb on his back, holding out his hand for Jeffrey, just as Niall joined them. “Go alright?” Liam asked, watching Niall smile and look back over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, believe it might.” 

Liam nodded, smiling for his friend before leading the way back home. 

\---------------

For what it was worth, Liam tried to be better. He tried to be home when he should, helping with dinner or bathtime, smiling at Louis every chance he got. Louis still looked surprised every time, but at least he didn’t move farther away. Liam wasn’t sure if he was doing anything right, but he did feel like he wasn’t doing it wrong. 

The popstar that Niall was trying to get, signed, but with the stipulation that Liam work with her directly. It got him out of his office, back in the studio and Liam had to admit he loved it. The first day went as planned, the girl friendly, bright and excited. He liked sitting with her, listening to her sing and her input was even reasonable. 

The second night they got caught up though, working through a track a few times, which made everyone tired, everyone frustrated. They took a break, but were looking at a long night. When the room cleared to sort out dinner Liam grabbed his phone, dialing Louis’ number. 

“Hey! Currently the floor is lava, what’s up?” 

Liam smiled, running his hand over his face and leaning back in the chair. Louis always made everything more interesting, even late afternoons. “We’re stuck here late,” he said, feeling bad about it. 

“Things not going well?” The laughter was out of Louis’ voice, a softness there instead. 

“Not bad. Just one of those things. It’s not all jiving like it should,” Liam explained hoping that he cheered up and wasn’t upset. 

“Watch your step!” Liam guessed Louis wasn’t shouting at him, but playing along with the game. “What time?” 

“Well past bedtime,” Liam confirmed. 

“No worries,” Louis answered. “I’ve got things here if you’re really late. I’m a big fan of the futon in the trophy room.” 

“It’s not a trophy room.” 

“Whatever, you know it is. I found the standee cutout in the closet by the way. I set him up in there too, so you’re with me.” 

Liam groaned. “I wish you hadn’t found that. You could just have the real thing.” He didn’t mean to say it, but the words were there before he could stop them. 

Thankfully, down the line, Louis just laughed. “You’d have to come home. Go on, good luck with the work. I’ll be here when you’re done.” 

There was no denying the smile on his features, Liam knew that, and he heard it in his voice. “Hopefully I won’t be gone for too long. Give them kisses for me, yeah?” 

“Always. Don’t worry about us. Just dealing with lava! Gotta go!” Louis rang off before Liam could laugh, but Liam could still feel the fond smile on his face. 

“Girlfriend?” 

Liam looked up at the voice, staring at the little popstar there. She must have wandered back before he finished the call. “No,” he said. “Nanny. Louis. Letting him know I’d be late. How you feeling, Sam?” 

Sam shrugged, moving to sit in the chair next to him. “I hate this song,” she admitted with a laugh. “Your nanny is a guy?” 

“He is,” Liam told her. “No one else was brave enough to take on the twins of terror.” He crossed his arm over his chest, watching her. “Why don’t you like the song?” 

“So, he know you’ve got like the world’s biggest crush on him?” she asked, smile on her lips. 

“Aren’t you like fifteen?” 

“Seventeen,” Sam corrected. “And that just means I know everything about crushes. And you have one on him.” 

“We were talking about why you didn’t like the song.” 

“We were talking about your not-boyfriend who makes you smile all cutesy like. But sure,” Sam said. “I hate the song because it’s stupid.” She sunk into her chair. “Who even feels like that? I mean, the words don’t make sense.” 

“You know how to fix them?” he asked, arching a brow at her. 

She tilted her head back and forth. “I have some ideas.” 

Liam reached for the lyric sheets and handed them to her. “Show me.” She smiled at him, taking the papers and grabbing a pen before moving to the coffee table, leaning over it to write. 

“You should tell him,” she called out while she scribbled. “That you’re in love.” 

“Not in love,” Liam said, shaking his head and going back to the soundboard so she could work. 

“Surreee. Whatever you say.” 

Liam rolled his eyes, but was glad she couldn’t see the flush he felt spreading on his cheeks. 

\------------

It was even later than he imagined when Liam got home. Sam had made her changes to the song and Liam had let her sing it, watching it come together in a way he couldn’t explain. He knew she liked it more, like the way it sounded as he started to mix it with the other layers of the track. It was all coming together, and the feeling alone was a bit of a high. The others had gone out for a late drink, but Liam had declined, getting a kiss on his cheek and a knowing wink. 

He tried to push Sam’s suggestions out of his mind, but it was hard not to when Liam got home to a quiet flat. The twins were fast asleep and he pressed a kiss against their heads before going further down the hall. Late as it was, Louis was still awake, on his phone, but sprawled on his makeshift bed. “That’s creepy,” Liam told him, nodding towards the cut out of himself, lingering the shadows in the corner of the room. 

Louis rolled to look at it, then grinned, something that shone bright even in just the light from his phone. “Nah, he’s great. I like him.” Louis turned that smile on Liam and raised an eyebrow. “You said something about the real thing?” 

Liam made a face, not sure how to take that. “I’m here aren’t I?” There was a tease in his words, but he clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t really going to be a thing was it? Had Liam gotten this far, this easily? 

“Yeah, but you’re way over there.” There was a tiny edge of a whine to his voice, pleading for Liam to move closer. And just like a moth to a flame, Liam did as Louis urged, knee hitting the futon on the far end of the bed. 

“I’m here now,” he murmured, leaning across the bed. Louis reached for him, fingers fisted in his shirt to pull him even closer. 

“Then be here.” Louis’ voice was soft and needy as he leaned up, mouth brushing along Liam’s jaw. Liam could feel the tremor though, the way the smaller man shook beneath him, which made him pull back, steadying himself. 

“Lou,” he breathed, cupping Louis’ cheeks and pressing their foreheads together, ignoring the frustrated noise that Louis made. “Are you sure?” 

Louis whined pulling harder at Liam, pushing against the hold that Liam had on him to press a warm open mouthed kiss against the corner of Liam’s mouth. “Isn’t this what you want?” 

“Louis.” Liam was harsher with it, pulling more away, wrapping hands around Louis’ wrists to keep him in check. He watched the other man’s face fall, the realization setting in between them. “I do,” Liam said quickly, not wanting Louis to think he didn’t. “I do. So...so much. But…” He ran his thumbs over the insides of Louis’ wrists, feeling him tremble at the touch. “I want so much more.” 

Louis tried to tug his hands away, but Liam held him fast, not letting him. “Lou, look at me.” There was a long moment before Louis did look up, eyes guarded, but at least looking at Liam. “You have no idea how badly I want this,” Liam murmured. 

“Then why not…” Louis punctuated it with a surge forward trying to capture Liam’s lips again. 

“Because,” Liam insisted, moving back. “Because you deserve better. We deserve better.” 

The whine that Louis let out was high and needy, but he crumbled against Liam, fists thumping against his chest until Liam wrapped him up, holding him close. Louis buried his face in Liam’s neck and Liam nosed along his hairline, unable to help himself. “Just give us time,” he whispered. “I want you to have it all.” 

He felt Louis nod, but kept him close until the the shakes were gone, until he felt like he had the Louis he’d talked to on the phone back, until they were each other again. Only then did Liam pull back, unable to miss the way Louis didn’t meet his eyes. “You should go,” Louis said softly. “Or I won’t let you leave.” 

Liam got that, that he couldn’t stay because he wouldn’t leave. That what little restraint he had would crumble if he lingered. He reached out, touching Louis’ hand once more, feeling fingers curl around his for just a moment before letting go. It was hard to move, but he got it, he needed to move. It was harder to walk down the hall, back to his room, to shut the door behind him and lean against it. The ache had spread across his chest deep down. He knew better than to give in to the temptation, but it hurt to know that Louis was that broken as well. 

\---------------

He expected the morning to be weird, to be awkward, but Liam realized after he got up, both he and Louis were too tired for it to be. If the dark circles were any indicator, Louis hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before either. Through it all though, Louis looked soft and cuddly, Mari on his lap at the table while they talked about breakfast foods. He was wearing one of Liam’s shirts, something that was almost two sizes too big, but just made Liam want to curl into his side and never leave. 

Only work was calling and the too-strong cup of coffee was only doing so much to help him through the fog of sleeplessness. When he left, he let his fingers linger on Louis’ shoulder as he leaned in to kiss his daughter, feeling Louis rest his head against Liam’s arm for the smallest of moments. It wasn’t much, but it gave Liam some sort of hope. 

By the time he made it back to the studio, Liam was starting to feel like a real person, relieved to see Niall there, lounging on the couch. “You really never work, do you?” Liam teased as he dropped down next to him. 

“I’m always working. Today I’m checking in on Sam and you, my favorite and most valued producer.” Niall punctuated the compliment by sliding over a familiar looking pink box and a cup of coffee that smelled sweeter than usual, just the way Liam liked it. 

“Oh, you want something big, don’t you?” 

“Maybe I’m just in a great mood,” Niall challenged. 

“I can tell that,” Liam countered. “That’s what the treats are for, but coffee just how I like it? That’s something else entirely. You’re sucking up.” 

Niall tilted his head back and forth before sighing. “Alright, yeah. I am. But I swear it’s for good reasons.” Liam arched a brow, which was enough to get Niall to chuckle and flush. “I swear it doesn’t have to do with Harry. It’s just a work proposition.” 

 

“Okay,” Liam said slowly, not sure where Niall was going. 

“This deal, this signing, with Sam. That was all because she wanted to work with you. And I’m realizing, the more people I talk to, they don’t want you in an office. You’re wasted in an office and a suit. You’re better here, in the studio, just like you used to be. You built Big Payno Productions by being here. It’d be better hours because you can pick them, gets your name on tracks again, and gives me a chance to market your skills as we pick up new artists.” 

Liam frowned. “Don’t they need me…” 

“In those meetings? God, no. We’ll get someone else to do that and just let you do what you do best. I saw the song changes; Sam showed me when I got here. She’s so in love with it and she worked on it on her own. It’s going to be the single and you know it.” 

“She had good ideas.” 

“Which no one else would have even heard if it weren’t for you. It’s not like you can’t tell me you’re not happier here, instead of at the office every day. Plus, you could be home more, with the twins.” 

That was the truest part of the statement. Liam knew he could do what work he needed to do outside of the studio at home, if all he was focused on was producing. And he loved what he did. He didn’t love the business side of the label, the constant feeling of defending his position when he was good at what he did. “Can I think about it?” 

Niall nodded, grabbing a stack of papers out of his bag. “Here’s the official offer,” he said. “Read it over, consider it. I wouldn’t even bring it to you if I didn’t think it was a great offer.” 

“I know. I’ll look at it.” 

Niall squeezed Liam’s shoulder and got up, nicking a pastry out of the box as he went. “Talk to you soon then. Call me if you’ve got questions.” 

Liam waved as Niall left, sure he’d be texting his friend with questions before he even finished reading through the offer. Something dawned on him though. “Hey Niall,” he called before the blonde could leave, looking at him curiously when Niall stopped in the doorway. “What kind of work do you do with a drama degree?” 

Niall shrugged. “Teach? Work at a theater? Act?” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks. You know, for this. And the coffee.” 

Niall grinned. “Any time. Good luck today.” 

\-----------

Liam had left the paperwork for the new position on the kitchen island before taking over with bath and bedtime, so he shouldn’t have been surprised to come out of the twin’s bedroom to see Louis there, leaning against the countertop and flipping through it. “Where’d this come from?” Louis asked when Liam came into the kitchen to get himself a beer from the fridge. 

“Niall. Well, the executives, but I think Niall made a push for it.”

“So they want you to solely produce now? None of the other nonsense, just you in a studio or whatever, doing what you’re best at? This is one hell of an offer.” Liam knew Louis meant more than the numbers on the last page, but that had to be taken into account as well. 

“I’m thinking about it,” Liam said, taking a sip of his beer. 

“What’s there to think about? It’s more time here, with your kids, and it’s doing what you set out to do in the first place, before you sold out to the label.” 

“I didn’t sell out.” 

“You literally sold your company. That’s selling out, love.” Liam rolled his eyes, but Louis ignored him. “Why haven’t you just signed this yet? These kind of offers, they don’t just show up every day. You earned this, this life.” 

“Have I?” 

“Of course, you have! You gave up everything, but you still put this dream into motion. Trust me, Liam. Young as you are, you’ve got years to just keep getting better. Sign the paperwork.” Louis pushed the papers across to Liam, staring at him pointedly. 

“What about you?” Liam asked quietly. 

“What about me?” 

“If I’m home more, you’re basically out of a full time job.” 

Louis waved his hand and crossed his arms over his chest, like he was physically protecting himself. “You don’t turn down this offer because you’re worried about having to fire your nanny.” 

“You know you’re more than that.” 

Louis shook his head and looked away, opening a drawer to find a pen. “Look, I’m not, we’re not going into that. This,” he tapped the pen against the paper. “This is the best thing for you right now. The very best. If you don’t sign it for yourself, I will for you.” 

Liam could see how serious Louis was and what he was giving up to push Liam into the job. Sure, being Liam’s nanny was just a job and Louis would probably always find another, but Louis leaving meant they were giving up more than that. It was giving up the quiet moments where Liam felt less like an employer and his employee and more like a family. Liam didn’t want to see that go away. 

“One condition,” Liam said, taking the pen, but holding up a finger. He grabbed his phone off the counter and opened his browser to a page he’d bookmarked. 

“There shouldn’t be conditions. Yes, I’ll still babysit if you need it. I’m not like rolling in a life here,” Louis said with a huff, but Liam shook his head and slid his phone across the counter. 

“You should apply for this. And before you say anything, I’ve already called. They’re just waiting to hear from you.” 

“You...what?” Louis grabbed the phone and looked at it, scrolling through the job listing. It wasn’t huge, but the job at the children’s theater teaching classes and assisting with productions seemed so perfect for Louis. 

“I know it’s not acting,” Liam said. “But it’s working with kids, which you’re clearly great at, and using your degree.” 

“You called them for me?” Louis asked, looking mildly offended. 

“I just wanted to know more about the job, but she wound up asking me about you when I mentioned I had someone in mind and I told her how you’re so great with my kids, always making up games, and drama’s your passion and…. You’re angry, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know what I am,” Louis said softly. “You found me a job. A real job.” 

“Well, I felt bad for leaving you unemployed,” Liam admitted. “And it’s like you said, what if you wanted to. Now you can. And we’ll...we’ll be so proud of you.” 

“We?” 

Liam nodded. “All three of us. That is, if you still want us around.” He reached for Louis’ hand, wrapped it up in his. 

“I...Liam. If this is about last night, I shouldn’t have, I just…” 

“You were lonely,” Liam said, echoing the words that Louis had said to him. “I know. And I meant what I said. I still want to. I want to try. When this is all taken care of, I want to try.” 

“Liam,” Louis started, but Liam didn’t let him finish. He could already hear Louis doubting everything, doubting all of it. 

“Remember what I said?” Liam interrupted. “I want everything. Even before, when you told me what I could and couldn’t offer, I still wanted more. I want it all. With you.” He pushed forward, cupping Louis’ cheeks in his hands and pressing their foreheads together again. “I’m not asking for promises. I'm not going to make any either. All I’m asking that you try with me.” 

Louis nodded, head bumping against Liam’s. “Will you sign the stupid papers already?” He pinched Liam’s side making Liam yelp, but he got the message. He flipped through to the right page, signing on the line, with Louis’ cheek pressed against his arm. 

\-----------

Liam was still getting used to being home in the mornings, but after two weeks, it was nice. He shifted the hours in the studio to shorter chunks spread out over more time, and Louis had easily adjusted as well. Liam had just gotten the twins settled with coloring while he grabbed what he needed for work, when Louis came in ready to shift over duties. 

“How’d it go?” Liam asked, trying to guess from Louis’ face, but his look was guarded, passive even. It made Liam’s stomach sink to his toes at the thought that it hadn’t worked out, that the job had been a dud, and that everything he’d lined up wasn’t falling into place. “Well...” Louis started and Liam held his breath. 

Thankfully, as much as Louis loved to torture him, he knew there were limits. His grin spread, lighting Liam up from the inside out, right before he pitched himself into Liam’s arms for a bear hug. “I did it. They wanted me. I got the job.” 

Liam swung them both about, laughing into Louis’ shoulder, before setting him down. It was impossible to stop smiling, to stop grinning. “When do you start?” 

 

“Paperwork and checks have to go through, but she said two weeks. Two weeks and I’m a real live employed person!” 

Liam wanted to kiss him, shower him with kisses, but settled for another hug instead. “Brilliant. Just brilliant. I knew you’d get it.” He sighed happily, then put his hands on his hips. “Two weeks then. Not a lot of time to find a replacement.” 

“What? No, Liam I told you. I’ll still help out here, just like I have been.” Louis’ face fell, but Liam stood his ground and shook his head. 

“Nope, this is your official notice. Plus, I can’t have you as my sitter if you’re the one I’m taking out, right?” Liam had a plan though. He’d already looked into other options, and dug into his work bag to get the folder of applications for Louis to see. 

“Take me out?” Louis asked, holding the folder and staring at Liam like he was insane. 

“Mmm,” Liam confirmed. “Once you no longer work for me, I’d quite like to take you out properly.” 

“Not Netflix and chill on the couch?” There was a hint of a smile at the corners of Louis’ mouth, like the was holding back to keep from getting too excited.

“No,” Liam said. “A proper dinner, out in public in real clothes, somewhere that doesn’t have a kids’ menu.” 

“A real date.” 

“A real one.” Liam confirmed. “You’d better get to picking your replacement.” He grinned at Louis once more before grabbing his bag to go. “I’m so, so proud of you. Two weeks. Next Tuesday night. Dinner. I’m holding you to it.” 

“I’ll be there,” Louis promised, squeezing Liam’s arm, then shooing him out the door. 

\----------

It was a bit of a whirlwind in the flat when someone knocked at the door two weeks later. Liam was still trying to get the new girl, Jade, settled, showing her where everything was while Mari tried to ask her about her Minnie Mouse cell phone case and Jeffrey wanted to know just how her hair got to be that interesting green color. Both twins wanted to show her their room, not whatever Liam had to show, and the poor thing looked a little overwhelmed, but she still managed to smile through it. It was such a different moment, Liam’s children being excited about someone new, but without looking like little monsters. He turned for the door just as Jade got drug down the hall, pulling it open while calling after them, but the words died on his tongue when he saw Louis. 

Louis had always been beautiful, even that first day, but tonight was something else. Gone were the comfortable kid-proof clothes and in their place was a sharp looking pair of pants, what looked like real shoes and a blazer over a t-shirt. His hair was done up, styled and not the mess that Liam was used to. Instantly Liam wondered if his jeans and jacket over a plain t-shirt weren’t enough. “You look…” 

Liam was pretty sure that was a flush on Louis’ cheeks, but he ducked his head so Liam couldn’t see it properly. “Yeah, yeah. Amazing what I do with a shower and some hair gel, right?” he teased. 

“Gorgeous,” Liam finished, but Louis just punched his arm.

“Like I can compete with you. Jade make it here yet?” Louis peeked into the flat. 

“She did. I think she’s already run ragged.” Liam said, turning back to call out to the sitter, future nanny, but she just grinned from around a corner. 

“Have fun,” she told Liam, waving at Louis. “We’re good here. Promise.” 

“You have my number,” Liam reminded her, but Louis got his hand in his, pulling him away.

“She knows. I hired her,” he pointed out. “She’s fine.” 

Liam let the door shut behind them and turned to look at Louis, taking a deep breath. “Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Louis said with a shrug. He squeezed Liam’s hand, for real this time, and Liam felt better knowing he wasn’t the only one who was so nervous. Liam twisted his hand, so their fingers were laced together and watched as Louis’ next breath came easier. 

The walk to the restaurant was short, but quiet, as if neither of one of them knew where to start. It made Liam miss the easy banter they had before they’d introduced a new layer to the relationship. He wondered if that was gone, if change this one thing changed everything. He opened his mouth to question it, to wonder out loud what they were doing, but Louis just bumped into his side. “It’s right here,” he said, pointing to the cafe that Liam was about to walk past. “You alright?” 

Liam stopped them before going inside, looking at Louis then back the way they’d come. “Are we doing the right thing?” he blurted before thinking it through and coming up with a better way to string the words together. 

As it was, Louis frowned and looked at his shoes for what felt like years but was really only a breath or two. “Well, I mean we both know we…” Louis trailed off, like thinking better of what he’d planned to say. “Can I just…” He waved between them and Liam arched a brow, not sure where he was going with that. 

“Just what?” 

Louis huffed a sigh that sounded exaggeratedly put out before rolling his eyes and pushing forward. One hand trailed along Liam’s neck to the back of his head, pulling him down and the other curled around Liam’s jacket, holding him close. Then all it took was Louis raising his chin just enough and he was kissing Liam, warm, but still innocent, like he didn’t want to push it too far. 

It was such a different kiss from the heated half kisses of a few weeks before, though Liam could feel the need between them in the way Louis pressed closer, the way his hand clenched the fabric of his jacket. That wasn’t all there was though. It was so entirely Louis, so entirely them, that Liam had wrapped his arm around Louis without even realizing he was doing it. When Louis finally pulled back, he nipped at Liam’s lower lip and smiled at him, fingers trailing through the hairs on the back of Liam’s neck. “Better?” 

Liam nodded, pressing their foreheads together. “So much.” 

“Still worried this isn’t the right thing?” Louis’ voice had that hesitancy in it, like he wasn’t completely sure. 

“No,” Liam said, feeling that in his bones. He’d been worried they couldn’t get back there, that back and forth that made so much sense, that it might have changed, but it didn’t. It was still there, just with an added layer. “Come on,” Liam said pulling back to take Louis’ hand and kiss his knuckles. “Let me buy you a dinner that doesn’t come on a plastic Disney themed plate.” 

It made Louis laugh, just like Liam wanted to, that bright open smile with crinkles at his eyes. He followed after Liam, pressing his smile into Liam’s shoulder while they waited for their table, as if being far away just wasn’t worth it. The warmth of the moment spread from the the small points of contact, lips against a shoulder, fingers at a wrist, through his whole being, warming him up to every fantasy he’d ever had about Louis. Everything felt possible once they were together and it was a sensation that Liam had never had before. He never wanted to let it go.

\----------

The walk to Louis’ flat was what Liam had been expecting, laughing from jokes told, the continuous brushing of fingers and shoulders, helped along by the glasses of wine they’d each had. Liam didn’t realize how close Louis lived to him until they were outside his building, no more than a twenty minute walk from Liam’s. 

Louis stalled outside, looking back at the building, the little door to the walk ups squished between a laundromat and what looked like a defunct travel agency, dingy even from a distance, but truly scuffed up close. “It’s not,” Louis said, waving a the building like it might go away if they didn’t look at it. “Do you want to come up?” 

“I…” Liam started, somehow managing to keep himself from saying yes without thinking about it. “Do we…” 

 

Louis nodded, slow and shy at first, but stronger as he reached for Liam. “I do.” 

“Should we?” Liam asked, but he’d already caught an arm around Louis’ waist pushing him back a step and more into the half opened door. 

“I have no idea,” Louis murmured, nose running along Liam’s jaw, voice just for him. “But I really, really want to.” 

Liam didn’t know either, but that was reason enough to nod, giving Louis a little push to get them further into the building. “Lead the way then.” 

Louis pulled him down for another long kiss, licking his way into Liam’s mouth for a long, firey moment before he was tugging Liam up the stairs. It was two flights too many to Louis’ flat, but Liam took the time to admire the view, wondering how he’d known Louis as long as he had and not truly appreciated his arse. It was the stuff of legends. 

By the time they were to the door, Louis had barely gotten the key in the lock before he was turning to kiss Liam again. It left Liam to fumble with an unfamiliar knob, but he got the door open and tumbled both of them across the threshold. Louis fell back to pull at his blazer, shucking it while Liam pulled the door and locked it. When Liam turned back, Louis was shoeless, and tugging Liam down to another kiss. 

“Bedroom?” Liam asked between kisses, nipping at Louis’ lip when the other man just waved in a direction that Liam couldn’t determine. It earned him a keening sort of noise, but Louis pulled back to drag Liam further into the flat. 

Finally Liam raised his eyes to actually look at the place, frowning when it fully came into view. While he’d thought Louis was waving him away, he realized Louis had actually been waving towards his bed. The flat was mostly one room with a kitchen nook, something that looked like it had been a fireplace at some point, but now had two footballs and a few pairs of shoes shoved in it. The bed was just a mattress shoved in a corner, only blocked off from the rest of the room by an IKEA bookshelf that was overloaded with artifacts of Louis’ life that looked like it might cave in at any second. Clothes and dirty mugs littered every floor and spare surface, and there was a strong chance it was colder inside than it had been outside. 

“Don’t look,” Louis murmured, pulling Liam back down for another kiss, but Liam shook his head.

“This is….” Liam didn’t know how to finish the sentence. He didn’t know what he was thinking. Part of him was overwhelmed with how Louis the whole place was, another was shocked at how he managed to live somewhere so sad.

“Why I like the trophy room,” Louis said, pulling at Liam’s jacket as he finished the sentence for Liam. “Better with someone else here,” he added. 

“Lou…” 

“Don’t.” Louis’ voice was sharp, even if his touches were gentle. “Don’t start pitying me now.” 

That was what Liam was doing, wasn’t it? Not everyone had an album to cash in on, a company that sold for more than he’d put into it like Liam did. Liam didn’t think of his flat as terribly posh, but it was better than this. Still, Louis was right. Louis didn’t deserve his pity. Louis was making it on his own. Instead of commenting on it, Liam slipped out of his jacket, letting it fall to the floor before cupping Louis’ cheeks to drag him in for a kiss. Louis got the message, the intent, and shoved his hands under Liam’s shirt with a pleased little groan. 

It was easy to forget after that. Liam let himself get lost in discovering new skin as Louis’ clothes fell away, in dropping to his knees to drag his tongue down Louis’ torso, then lower. He sucked him off slowly, taking his time and relishing the weight of Louis’ cock on his tongue, the noises Louis made, and the way his hips shifted out of his control before he came. 

Liam mouthed lazily against Louis’ hip as the other man came back to him, body flat on his mattress of a bed, arms spread wide. Liam ached for himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to push the issue, not when Louis looked so perfect. He waited until Louis was tugging at his hair, trying to get him closer, before he moved, crawling back up the bed to move his kisses to Louis’ jaw. 

“Of course you’d be fucking good at that,” Louis mumbled, voice slurred in the after effects of his orgasm. 

Liam smiled, eyes casting towards Louis’. “I tend to be thorough,” he teased. 

It was enough for Louis to laugh, then drag Liam up for more kisses, licking his way into Liam’s mouth. “So if I ask you to fuck me,” Louis murmured against his lips. “Will you be thorough with that, too?” 

Liam’s entire brain shuttered to a stop, then picked up again when he nodded and tried to shake away the worst of the surprise. “Yes,” Liam managed to breathe, nodding against Louis’ forehead. “You have no idea.” 

Louis grinned, wicked and teasing, and Liam felt himself in complete awe at the way it went all the way to his eyes, making them sparkle even in the dim light. “Prove it,” he dared with the sharp bite against Liam’s shoulder. 

It was hard to back down at that, though Liam knew that was what Louis was going for. He took his time despite the scramble for supplies, Louis tossing the bottle of lube at his chest to make him hurry up. They didn’t need to though, and Liam was distinctly aware of that. The kids were fine, they were in good hands, and Louis was his, all his.

This was what Liam had wanted. The slow slick of his fingers as he stretched Louis open, the way Louis’s eyes fluttered and quiet moans died on his lips. When Liam told Louis they deserved better, this was what he had in mind. At first he’d thought that Louis’ dingy flat would put a damper on it, but now that he was here, Louis was right. It was better with someone to share it. 

Louis wasn’t the only one trembling as Liam finally slid inside, but that didn’t stop Liam from cupping Louis’ cheek with a shaking fingers. Louis had tried to turn away from him, flip himself over, but Liam hadn’t let him. He saw why the other man had done it now. There were tears pooling at the edges of Louis’ eyes, making the blue go glassy, and it drew Liam closer to him, pressing their foreheads together again. 

“I love you.” 

It was the worst time for the admission, buried deep in Louis, caught up in the overwhelming feeling of him, but that didn’t make it less true. Liam had loved Louis for longer than he’d even realized, having kept that part of him as walled off as Louis did. Both of them had hidden behind the barriers that protected them, but now, here like this, Liam felt open and exposed. For once it wasn’t a bad thing. It was like letting go. 

Louis nodded, eyes closed and fingers pressing against Liam’s back, urging him to move. That was slow too, as slow as Liam could manage, a roll of hips, press of skin, until they both came apart together, a mix of gasps and quiet moans. 

After, Liam sunk into the silence between them, no longer afraid of what it might mean. He could hear Louis’ heart beating under where Liam’s cheek was pressed against his chest. Each gentle drag of Louis’ fingers through his hair was another point between them, another path for the electricity of everything Liam was feeling to move from one person to another. 

“I meant it,” he said when the silence and his own racing heart lulled to a dull roar. Liam curled his fingers around Louis’ hip before looking up at him. 

“I know,” Louis murmured, smile on his lips despite the fact that his eyes were closed. “I thought you might. Hoped you might.” 

“Hoped?” 

Louis opened one eye, then the other, watching Liam closely, like he always did, as if he was trying to read Liam’s thoughts for him. 

“That was what it felt like. I hoped I had it right.” 

Liam considered that, tried to fit it in with what Louis knew, how his heart had been broken when he’d thought nothing was wrong. It made sense, that someone like Louis would doubt what he saw. Liam had spent the same amount of time doubting what he was feeling. “And you?” 

It was rude to ask, to push Louis to answer, but Liam had to know. He couldn’t linger with his heart out there, hoping Louis would take it. 

“You don’t know?” Louis frowned hard enough for a line to appear between his eyes, something Liam reached up and smoothed out. 

“Should I?” 

Louis’ laugh was more of a huff of breath and a shake of his chest. “I wasn’t hiding it.” He leaned down and Liam leaned up into him. “Yes, since...too early. Bedtime stories or bathtime, something. All of it. I knew.” 

“You didn’t say.” Liam pouted, which just made Louis smile more, fingers running along his cheek. 

“I wanted you to get there on your own. Without me pushing. I told you, it’s like kids. You have to let them find their own way.” 

Liam shook his head and hid his grin in Louis’ neck. “Speaking of….” He didn’t want to leave, not the warmth of the body next to him, or the quiet bubble they’d made where the real world didn’t exist. 

“I know.” Louis shifted, moving away from Liam. “They need you. We need you.” He turned back as Liam sat up, smiling softly. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Liam promised, making Louis laugh. 

“I’d hope so. I promised your kids that I’d come by after work to play.”

Liam grinned, leaning in to kiss Louis again, hands pressed against his cheeks, drawing the other man to him. “And stay for dinner?” 

“Maybe…” Liam arched a brow, which earned him a laugh out of Louis. “Yes, fine, I’ll stay. And maybe even for some Netflix after they go to bed.” 

“Louis Tomlinson. Did you just ask me to Netflix and chill with you?” Liam teased. 

Louis swatted at him, but let Liam wrap him up in his arms, pulling him close. “Yes, you idiot. Of course I did.” 

\---------------

“I think I’m going to ask Louis to move in,” Liam said, leaning back from the sound board. 

“That’s a horrible idea,” Niall said from where he was leaning against the wall, eyes glued on his phone. He was texting or emailing furiously. And dressed like he had real business, in a proper suit and everything. The new talent they were signing must be a big deal. 

“I think it’s an adorable idea,” Sam piped in from the couch. It was her popstar friend’s album they were working on and for some reason Sam tagged along to recording half the time. 

Liam nodded at her, then tilted his head to the side at Niall. “Didn’t you just buy Harry a flat?” 

Niall rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone. “I did not. I bought a flat, an investment, and...he takes care of it for me.” 

“You bought him a flat,” Liam concluded. 

“He was living above the bakery in a room that should have been a storage closet,” Niall grumped. 

“And now he has a fancy flat with a great kitchen that you might or might not have the key and the deed to.” 

Niall just shrugged. 

“I’m going to ask Louis to move in. He’s over there most of the time anyway.” 

“Because he’s your boyfriend. And he’s helping with taking care of the kids.” 

Liam shook his head. “Not as much. Jade’s there most of the time that I’m not, though we might not need her as much when the kids start school in a month or so.” Which would be a nice change of pace, even if the thought of letting his kids go for a whole day was a lot harder than it had been before. Liam loved the time he got with them and, now that he didn’t work full days or every day, he wasn’t sure what he’d do if they weren’t around. 

Niall fidgeted with his tie, fixing it then smoothing it down. It wasn’t like him to have such nervous ticks. It distracted Liam from the thought of Louis to study Niall a little closer. “Who’re you trying to get with that look?” 

Niall jumped, eyes blinking before he shook his head. “No one. I mean, it’s not for work.” 

“He’s having dinner with Harry,” Sam piped up from the couch, but when Liam looked back for more information, she was still flipping through the magazine on her lap. 

“Then why are you….” Liam trailed off as Niall turned pink. “Oh, you bastard. You are, aren’t you?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Niall dismissed, waving Liam away. “It’s just dinner.” 

“Liar.” Sam, astute as ever. Maybe she wasn’t as much of a pain as Liam had thought. 

“What she said. I better be the best man.” 

NIall scoffed and rolled his eyes, heading for the door. “He’s got to say yes first.” 

“He will,” Liam called. “How could he not?” 

Some of the tension seeped out of Niall’s shoulders and he grinned back at Liam, obviously grateful for the moral support. “Don’t ask Louis to move in with you.” 

Liam rolled his eyes this time. “Whatever you say,” he said, waving at Niall as he left for his dinner reservation. 

Over a late dinner of leftover Chinese on the couch, Liam asked anyway.


End file.
